HARE GUIDE
This
guideline is intended
for both new and old
brain
dead hashers
attempting to Lay a trail to be remembered.
Put some effort into your trail so you can maybe have a memorable “trail” “instead of that sucked”. There’s no rating trails here.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
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TRAIL LENGTH |
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PARKING |
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FLOUR & CHALK |
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PRE-LAYING |
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DOWN-DOWN VEHICLE |
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HARE SNARES |
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SYMBOLOGY |
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VEHICLE SHUTTLE |
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DOWN-DOWN LOCATION |
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SIMPLE MATH |
SCOUTING
Invest
some time for planning the starting point, the route, and ending
location of
your trail.
Traipsing
through
private property should be avoided unless permission is granted.
Police
and open
consumption of beer do not mix.
Try
to avoid lengthy
straight stretches (especially of pavement), it's
boring and too much like real exercise for the average Hasher.
Plan
your
intersections, BT's, back checks, true trail arrows, special
maps/instructions,
and chicken/eagle splits. Please don't forget the beer check(s)! Hares
are
responsible for arranging a means for the Beer Check cooler(s) to get
to the
Beer Check. The Beer Meister will provide the cooler(s) full of
libations along
with "el cheapo" plastic vessels at the start of the hash.
TRAIL LENGTH
Make your trail a reasonable distance! A long trail isn't necessarily a good trail! Plan a true trail of about 4 to 5 miles with the duration of 45 minutes to one hour. The FRB's will run further as they solve and mark intersections, back checks, maps, riddles, etc and the slower hashers will be able to follow true trail and therefore get to the end without it seeming like a time warp has occurred.
Do not
measure
your length (of trail that is) using a road map, that method invariably
causes
trail to be longer than anticipated. Run and time yourself on true
trail prior
to the Hash and then do a little math (depending on your pace) to
extrapolate
the distance and/or time. The average Hasher will meander down trail at
a
whopping 10 minutes per mile, and lots of heavy shiggy
will slow the pace even further.
PARKING
The
start location should provide adequate parking for the anticipated
number of
Hashers. Ask the Hash-Cash or GM how many hashers to plan for if the
start has
a limited parking capacity and find another location if parking is
going to be
a pain in the arse.
FLOUR & CHALK
Hares provide the hash for laying trail. It should be thrown with wild abandon by the fistfuls, not in pinches hidden strategically along the trail. Two hares will normally use a minimum of 10 pounds of hash per trail unless there is lots 'o shiggy. A trail through heavy shiggy, (no routinely trodden path) must be marked much more often for the pack to follow it. Consider "pre-laying" an extra 5-pound bag at some point along your trail or with the beer check to replenish your hash supply if shiggy is your thing.
Chalk is provided by the chalk-meister at the beginning of the Hash.
The
expense of
the flour as well as the effort put forth by the Hares in designing and
executing an alluring, fascinating, beguiling and seductive trail make
it
unnecessary for them to pay the Hash fee.
PRE-LAYING
Absolutely
nothing wrong with it in the interest of making the trail more fun and
interesting. You may be called into the circle for a down-down (Oh
darn!) if
it's painfully obvious that you unnecessarily pre-laid. Lone hares
sometimes
pre-lay the BT's for their planned intersections or pre-lay a section
of trail
in order to bypass it during the hash. This allows them time to
concentrate on
laying a well-marked trail with copious numbers of intersections and
BT's.
Pre-laying has also been done with hand-written or computer generated
maps
posted on doors, windows, trees etc to add some variety to the trail.
JUST DO IT if you think it will enhance
your trail!
DOWN-DOWN VEHICLE
Hares
are responsible for arranging a designated vehicle to transport
down-down bags,
coolers, etc to the down-down. For an outdoor down-down ensure the
driver has
good directions so the BEER coolers arrive in a timely manner! Hell
hath seen
no fury greater than that of a thirsty Hasher at trail's end without
beer
except of course that of a woman scorned.
HARE SNARES
Don't worry about it! There will always be those shortcutting bastards that immediately deviate from your perfectly planned trail on a "search and snare" mission. Hares get snared more often than not at TH3, so remain focused on laying your trail as planned.
When
snared, i.e.
actually touched by a fellow Hasher while still laying a trail, the
Hare(s)
usually utter a few expletives as well as dole out a compliment such as
"Well done, you *ucking asshole" and then
proceed to lay the remainder of their trail. The snarer(s)
will mark the snare point with chalk and wait there for five minutes
prior to
resuming their quest. They will also brag with impassioned fervor of
their
sublime achievement to any other Hashers arriving at that location and
hold
them on station until the five minute waiting period is over.
SYMBOLOGY/SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS
Use standard H3 marks as shown:
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HARE ARROW laid by Hares) |
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HOUND ARROW |
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BACK CHECK inserted) |
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HASH |
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BE CAFEFUL |
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INTERSECTION |
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ON TRUE TRAIL |
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BAD TRAIL |
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BEER CHECK |
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WRONG WAY ON TRUE TRAIL |
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CHICKEN EAGLE |
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THE END IS WITHIN |
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When the Hare uses a non-standard symbol or has created a special symbol, elaborate profusely when the Hash Master/Mattress calls upon the hares for special instructions. It's considered standard at the hash that more than three consecutive hash dollops (smatterings, piles, blobs, splooches, whatever) indicate true trail. That by no means should deter Hares from laying a nice long bad trails should they desire, but if done they should be appropriately marked with a bad trail or a back check mark. The Hare could also announce during special instructions that "more than three don't mean doo-doo."
Another standard is that an intersection means true trail, therefore no intersections should be laid on a bad/false trail.
Swimming is another example of an event for which a special instruction should be announced. If there is a water crossing deep enough that those, um , height-challenged hashers may founder or that everyone will have to swim, then let it be known. Then those who may have a proclivity to drown can "long-cut" or cling to a savior.
Other items that should be announced:
Chicken/Eagle
Splits
Number
of beer
checks
Where
the
map/directions to the down-down will be located for those poor "lost on
trail" souls
Any
special
considerations such as whether the trail has a location(s) where it may
be
prudent to not blow whistles (through hospitals, golf courses, &
police stations,
etc).
VEHICLE SHUTTLE
When the Hash is A to B, the Hares are responsible for organizing transportation back to the starting point either at the end of the down-down or before it begins. This can usually be accomplished with the vehicle used for the beer check.
Outdoors
Down-Downs: Try to pick a legal venue. In the great state of
Indoors
Down-Downs: Find cozy or sleazy or grungy or nice pubs or bars or
joints that
will give us a break on beer and food prices and that have plenty of
parking.
Find out whether or not they have a bunch of rabid football or
basketball fans
that fill the place on Tuesdays. Don't use it if that's the case unless
they
have a separate room or back area where we won't be intrusive to them
or them
to us.
DOWN-DOWN LOCATION
Outdoor
Down-Downs: The Hash Cash will reimburse
the Hares for
money spent on chow and related incidentals such as napkins, plastic
ware and
condiments. One way to ensure a good feed is to grill hotdogs,
hamburgers,
chicken or mystery meat.
Or
cook up a big
'ole batch of your favorite recipe, i.e. chili, spaghetti, etc. to
serve up. Be
sure to provide several assorted bags of crunchy stuff too. Victuals
don't
always have to consist of a cooked meal though. Snacks are an
acceptable food
for us to "feed our faces" after a little physical activity, after
all, the intent is to get some food in our bellies before we imbibe
heavily. Should the Hare(s) be among the
poor and
wretched suffering masses, arrangements can be made to obtain some
legal tender
up front from Hash Cash to make food purchases.
The
"Beer-Meister" will provide the "nectar of the gods" for
the beer check and the down-down. Other hashers provide Gatorade and
water.
Indoor
Down-Downs: Hares are responsible for both the victuals and the
libations at
the down-down. The Beer-Meister will supply a cooler of libations for
pre-hash
imbibing and beer check(s). Again, others provide Gatorade and water.
SIMPLE MATH
The Hash cost each Hasher 5 smackeroos. Count on 2 of every 5 dollar hash fee being used for victuals. If 50 people are routinely venturing out to Hash there is 250 bucks total to be spent of which about $100 is for food. So plan on spending $100 or less for an outdoor down-down. Therefore it follows that for 50 Hashers and an indoor down-down we're going to spend the entire $250. This is especially good poop for negotiating price breaks at the pub/bar prior to the Hash. Dangle this monetary carrot in front of the manager's nose and haggle a little bit for reduced prices. Mentioning specific figures while negotiating beer and food prices for a mere 2-3 hours of labor usually results in lower beer prices, ergo MORE BEER. You can also add to your pitch that often the partying will continue after the designated moola is spent as the Hashers pass the hat for MORE BEER.
Follow the info herein and your trail will be remembered by the pack as "a damn fine trail".